Let the Butt Kicking Begin

I'm tired of how I'm letting my body turn in to mush and just becoming so sedentary. It's driving me crazy. I've always had an athletic build, but I've never been "skinny." But as of late, the pounds have been stacking. I'm tired of looking at pictures of me and crying. I love taking pictures with family and friends, but I've been dreading how they might turn out these days...

My dear friend (from elementary school through high school and beyond), Michelle, has invited my honey and I to work out with her and her personal trainer. I'm so proud of her. She's worked her tail off for the past 8 months and it shows. 

This isn't my quest to be "skinny." Yes, it would be nice, but I just want to get back into the range that I know my body should be at and to be more toned. My desired goal is 20 lbs (I'd even take 15). I've seen myself 20 lbs lighter, and I had more energy, felt better, and hopefully my numbers will become more level too. Having to use less insulin is also a perk. 

Some may think it's a lot, or some may think that 15-20 lbs is hardly anything at all. Because my is pretty much against change, 15 lbs will be a *huge* feat for me. There are plenty of active type 1 diabetics out there, I know I can be one too. 

Something needs to change. And tonight is that first step. 

Here's to moving...off the couch and let's be honest - less stuffing my face.

Peace,

LO

Google Reader and the D-OC

The Diabetic Online Community rocks. I am so blessed to have a multitude of people sharing their thoughts, advise, and rants about their day to day life living as a diabetic.

I just finished reading through my "Diabetes Blogs" folder, and I thought, "wow, diabetes is 24/7. No breaks, no vacations, can be frustrating as heck, and painful as heck too!" And then the other side of my brain was like "yeah, doi, you go through the sameish type of stuff, and you know what... others go through it too." There are times where I want to play the blame game and yell at Diabetes "YOU SUCK!" but then 1 Corinthians 10:13 pops into my head - "No temptation [read: test, trial, problem] has overtaken you except such as common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted [read: tested, problems] beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it." It doesn't say that God will take alllll your issues - sometimes He does. I would reeealllly like it if He took diabetes away forever, but that hasn't happened yet... so what does He do instead? He gives us a way of escape - a way to deal with it.

Through the support of family and friends, He's also given me the Diabetic Online Community (DOC).

Thanks you guys for sharing your thoughts, fears, blessings, small victories (like a 104 reading on the meter! Or a levelish line on the CGM! woot!), and everything else in between. You guys ROCK!!! Here's to you guys!

Blessings to you all and thanks for listening,

Lindsey O.


- I'm a finger poking, insulin givin', carb countin', softball lovin', newbie garden growin', Irish-Italian.
booyah.

If you're on twitter and you're looking for some awesome people to relate with, do a hashtag search diabetes (#diabetes).

OC Fair - very fun until I felt like I was going to pass out.

Weirdest thing happened at the fair tonight... I was standing at a
demo table and this wave of dizziness came over me. I pardoned myself
from the lady giving the lotion demo, dropped down, and test my blood
glucose - not low at all. Stood back up she finished and a second wave
of dizziness/diminishing vision came over me... I found a spot and sat
down, retested, a little higher reading (tested on my other hand and
with alcohol wipe), waited a little bit and walked out of the
auditorium and I was fine... Very weird. As fast as it came it left.
Besides the freak dizziness onset, we had a blast and Johnny went on
his first fair ride! The kiddie Farris Wheel. Which was not kiddie at
all! It was so fast and kinda had a crackle noise as the buckets
settled when the wheel stopped. Johnny covered his eyes most of the
time. It was super cute. As we first took off I wrapped my leg around
his, cause I was certain he would have fallen out if I didn't do that.
Yay for mommy reflexes!
Oh and I think one of the Italian food booths was playing the CD, Mob
Hits (one of my all time fav CDs).
Anyways, until next year OC Fair...
Caio Caio!
Lindsey O.

Happy Birthday to my 3yr old!

Happy Birthday to you little boy! Oh how you've grown so quickly.
I just went through my calendar all the way back to before you were born to 2004 (a la Palm m500), to our wedding day 2005, Finding out that we were pregnant 2006, and when you were born perfect and healthy 2007. It's all that we wanted - a healthy baby.
I am beyond thankful that you don't have any symptoms of diabetes. I pray, with fervent tears, that you will never have to deal with this disease.

Thank you for being the little boy that you are - even on the rough days, when it seems like i want to run away from responsibility.
I joke that it doesn't feel real that I'm a mommy and will say, "sometimes there are days when I ask 'when are your parents coming to pick you up?'".

I am so in love with you. You are my precious little boy, that I will love forever.

Here is to year 3, and many many many more. I love you, Johnny, my baby bear.

Love,

Your Mommy

5:01am... Not a fan, especially when it's for a low.

So yesterday morning I woke up just before 5 with a low. Grabbed some skittles from my night stand, and laid there eating. I then went down stairs to test my blood sugar. I've never recorded myself while I had a low, but here it is.

p.s. after getting back to bed, there was a little curmudgeon on my side of the bed... and after 15 minutes of lying there, he thinks it's time to wake up cause the sun is up. ugh. so basically no sleep after 5am. I was not a happy camper that morning...zzzz.....



As the day went on, things got better and the BG's behaved.

Made myself a yummoliscious salad for lunch. Yes, those are chips in my salad. Actually, there's sour cream and chedder chips, tomatoes, pepperoncini, pickles, cottage cheese, pine nuts, salsa, and just a little bit of Ranch and Italian restaurant dressing.

Then after dinner I sat on our porch around twilight time. I lit my tea candles (pictured in lower right hand corner), drank my half-caf coffee, and curled up with my VU Sweatshirt blanket and iPad. So peaceful.

p.s. the giant plant in the way is Mr. Tomato plant. :o) Hoping to have some ripe Johnny tomatoes soon! :o)

Here's to a crummy start to a relaxing finish.

Thanks for listening, (and watching!)

Lindsey O.

oh and there was some really cute squirrels that visited us...

So many lows! What The Face?

I was thinking back to the last time that I went on bike ride or had any type of extended aerobic activity. Apparently it was before Johnny was born - before I was diagnosed with Type1.

I play softball at least once a week and during this past softball season I was coaching, but as coaches out there know, you have light to moderate activity. So even though I was active this season coaching softball I haven't worked out like this in a long time.

With all that to say... Since Tuesday, I have been having some crrraazzyyyy lows!!! Like below 40's 2+ times a day! And they have come up on me without notice! I usually am like a rubber bouncing ball with my BG's after a low, but they have been staying low.

Is this what usually happens after intense workouts?? My cousin who also is a T1 said that the lows can last up to 24-36 hours... Seriously????

I have been feeling under the weather since yesterday, but I don't think that would be the culprit.

This is so frustrating because I try to work hard to stay in shape, but I've been consuming carbs to bring my sugars back. :-( almost completely negating all that I just worked out for. Ugh!! If I were to eat sugar tabs i would have to eat like 3 bottles - which would be *gross*. I wish there were a higher carb tab brand out there like "Uber-Carb Tabs" or something. A tab that would be worth 20g or 40g carbs and not just 4g. Seriously folks, 4g? I need more for a low than that.

Oi. And then I hear about Cynthia passing away.... Soooo sad. I don't know if it's because information is traveling faster with social media or what, but I've been hearing about so many more T1's dying in this past year and a half. I'm glad that we are able to connect and be there for each other through the tough times.

Thanks for listening,

Lindsey O.

Postin' a Low at Church

We get to church on Wednesday night, a few weeks ago, sign johnny in to his class, get into the sanctuary at Calvary Chapel Living Word, find a seat, we have a few songs of worship... and then I'm feeling a low come on. After worship we stand up and Pastor Terry says hi, welcome etc and then tells us to greet some people around us. Now I know I'm low and I need to get some sugar quick. I didn't want to test right before shaking anyones hands, so I waited until we said our hello's and sat down. I tested. 3...2...1... -43- awesome. not.
I dig into my purse looking for my Halloween pumpkin candy corns (those suckers have like 30 carbs for like 5 pieces), can't find them. I know they are there. Finally I find them, trying not to make noise when the service started. Shoved 3 pieces in my mouth. I was glad that tonight's service wasn't packed as a Sunday morning service would be. That's always fun, rooting around in your purse making noise to find -candy-. Joy. So I stuffed the piece of candy in my mouth and I make a quick glance and my head slightly down so I don't draw attention that I'm eating. No people, I'm not 8 and I can control my candy cravings - I have to eat something.
::sigh:: So throughout the rest of the service I'm feeling the sugar go through my system, relaxing my shaking hands, feeling strength come back to my core, and the weird feeling of my tongue coming un-numb. And now, not paying attention/being sidetracked and having wandering thoughts - I tried to focus as much as I could at what Pastor Terry was talking about, but nonetheless, feels like I wasted a night of church. :(
I didn't feel normal until close to the later end of service. :( Praise the Lord I was able to take some notes, or I wouldn't remember most of the message. Anyways...

Thanks for listening.

LO

OneTouch New Meter Study

Last year I participated in a meter study by OneTouch through my Endocrinologist's office.
The meter is the VirioPro. It was nice. I liked the options it had as far as tagging and calculating carbs-insulin. That was a fun - being able to set your carb to insulin ratio, along with your corrective dose. I would be for sure be interested in getting one when it comes out, obviously as long as it doesn't break the bank.
Here's a few snapshots of the meter (taken with iphone 3G camera)

Current Meter for Insulin Study: Precision Xtra

 OneTouch VirioPro (left) and my current Precision next to each other.
Note: The OT holds it's test strips in the bottle and the Precision

What would make this even more fantastic is that it would be able to sync/talk to my iphone. :-)

Late Night Thoughts

Not too much has gone on since my last post.
Marcos is in Bakersfield keeping KGDP AM660 running. Hopefully he can come home tomorrow night for just a little bit. I miss him a lot. I feel bad, any time that he calls - it's always super noisy around me or something distracting is going on.
It's been tough having him gone. I don't know how single mom's do it.

Today we were super late to church. ugh. Woke up this morning with a low and also with a weird ending to a dream. So I treated my low...was pretty much awake, but also super sleepy at the same time. I went back to bed, but after I woke up and pressed snooze one too many times and WAY MORE tired than before. I realized we don't have anything "easy" to eat for breakfast... Johnny and I finished breakfast, got ready for church, and fortunately was able to listen to 1/2 of the service.
Needless to say... not the greatest morning. Seeing everyone at church was great! I am really enjoying going to Calvary Chapel Living Word. I knew that if I didn't go to church I would be miserable and cranky.

Speaking of cranky...Lately I've been having some really weird mood issues. Issues like feeling absolutely exhausted, not being able to do anything, outbursts of anger, and crying. I don't know what's wrong with me. Sometimes I can write it off as diabetes highs and lows... but for the most part - totally unexplained. Maybe it's because Marcos is gone and I can't keep up with everything. Normally if he is gone I can get a lot done, but it's different now with Johnny and now having diabetes. I dunno. When I'm with people I'm ok, but it's when I'm alone at home with Johnny, I get into the worst funks ever.
I just want it to stop. I just want to run away from it all. And there's the voice in the back of my mind saying "uhhh... what's the matter with you. this is totally not like you. snap out of it." and then I reply "I don't know...::cry::"

Yay for Game Night at the Lusk's. It always fun hanging out with the gang. However, I think Johnny and I stayed too long. JO kept getting in the way or where I had to keep an eye on him...not being able to relax and enjoy myself and enjoy being with company.

::sigh::

Honestly...
Most of the time, I don't want to go to bed because I know it will all start over in the morning.

:'-(

Until next time. Thanks for listening.

Lindsey O.